my saving grace.

Tuesday, April 15

I thought I had gotten to a point where I was content with this place. I was able to find the happy parts about it, and the people made up for the lack of sunshine. But then this Winter happened. I wrote on my bulletin board one day "This winter has utterly killed me.". I felt like I couldn't remember what the sun looked like. So many days were below zero. I huddled inside and got addicted to Psych, any TV really, got burnt out with design, and cried a lot.

It did have it's bright moments, you know. I built a lot of good relationships and for the first time I enjoyed basketball to an extent. I had distractions, but I couldn't block out this forever gloomy feeling. Some nights I thought I was going insane. Things that I used to enjoy, were chores for me. Everything was a chore. Day in, day out. Eat, study, design, go to basketball, come home, eat, design, go to bed and repeat. Some days we couldn't even leave the house. I thought I would go stir crazy.

Last week I had had enough. I was sick of this place, I was sick of the weather, I was sick of the people, of the pointless-ness of the petty small talk we made, I was done with it all. And just in time, the sun came out. I wore shorts, and ignored the goosebumps. Friday I went to a friend's house and longboarded all afternoon. Saturday was my saving grace. We went to a little park and just walked. Enjoyed the fresh air (finally) and I documented it all.

I've always been a summer girl, never really cared for spring. However after this winter, I have a new appreciation for spring. Saturday gave us hope, it won't always be winter.

Video Four | Doodlin' it Up

Friday, April 11

I started this video back in March, it was supposed to be Video 3, buuut there were so many issues and it got put off until April. So, here's April's video. Perhaps I'll do a little video with all the baby videos I took in March for Video 3 haha! This video was over an hour and a half long until I sped it up. That's only time when my pen is touching the paper, I skipped the parts with me getting up to get my fifth serving of Pringles and another Capri Sun. Not to mention me pausing and telling stories animatedly haha. I watched so much Psych over the course of five attempts to film this. I had planned on using the theme song of Psych as the music, but I couldn't find the full song (boo) so I chose Voulez-Voo by ABBA. Anyways, enjoy!

Sixteen Doesn't Last Forever.

Tuesday, April 8

When you're eleven, you think of being sixteen and it's going to be great. You'll be confident and can drive everywhere. You'll go to the beach with friends, and have amazing conversations until one am at night. You'll be happy and life will be great! But what you don't know is that you'll have to learn how to drive and it'll stress you out. You still won't have a bold confidence, although you have come a long way. The only beach close to you is a lake, and you'll still be in Indiana and you still want to go somewhere far away. You will have friends, but you'll feel so (so) different from them, sometimes. And one am will find you, awake, but alone. You won't feel happy everyday and sometimes life will be messy. You'll cry in your pillow, but in the morning you'll get up and face the world again. Eventually you will find people who dream as crazy as you. You won't always live in Indiana, and someday you'll see the West Coast. Remind yourself to be thankful for your family, the amazing friends you do have in your life (because they really are amazing), and the oppourtunities that are on the horizon. Just hold on, sixteen doesn't last forever.